Chapter 13: Luckiest

People often label me as a drama queen. I'm not going to deny it but I certainly will elaborate on that degrading stereotype. My whole life I have been very emotionally connected and not afraid to express that. This label has never really hurt me, it has always made me laugh though. I've never seen a problem in someone who is honest and faithful to their emotions.

With that being said, I really enjoy going through old blog posts and being able to tell the exact emotions that I was feeling at the time. Sometimes it really upsets me and I feel pain, real pain that is so strange. I am glad I write these things down though, it is interesting to go back and remember those times. And remember how lucky and grateful I am now.

I haven't really announced or told anyone what I'm up to out here in California. People are so nosy these days and don't actually care, they just want another piece of gossip to spread or another friendship to fake. Ends up that I met this guy on the train to L.A. to see a friend... well.. never mind, not going to elaborate on that friend haha there is no point getting into THAT. I digress, I met a guy who brought me to this random meeting in L.A. with some rappers who were hilarious and ended up loving me. Just so happens that one of them was a manager and knew some pretty amazing people (and happened to think I was hilarious and pretty and very talented). Since this paragraph seems long enough and I doubt anyone is ambitious enough to read down this far, I am gearing up to work with a producer who has written for Disney and many other big names. He wrote "Getcha Head In The Game" from High School Musical and went triple platinum with that single alone. He has also written for Hannah Montana and various other things. I'm still waiting to get the ball rolling but he is an INSANELY talented dude and I am the luckiest. When I left my first meeting with him I basically cried the whole way back to San Diego, I was so happy. I was watching my dreams come true after only 2 weeks of being in California!!! How does that even happen? It's meant to be, that's how. I can't wait to start the process, this all feels really unreal.

I haven't really talked about it because A. we haven't started working together yet and B. people are just obnoxious and I don't want any drama going on surrounding my music career. Miley deals with drama, not this no name right here haha. Seems like I deal with just as much as her sometimes.

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."

I am genuinely happier than I have EVER been in my entire life.

... and I love, LOVE that people are STILL so fucking interested in whether or not I'm working at Disneyland. HAAAAA. As soon as I met with this producer I emailed them to let them know I wasn't interested anymore. Yet people STILL ASK. "No, I won't be pursing a $9.50 an hour career doing parades when I can be making an album and actually LIVING my dream." Ughhhhhh.

Anyway, I am immensely happy. And if you read this far, I hope you are too. :]

Boys... hmm.. I'll just say this. I have had the same guy in mind for about 6 months now. He seems to be clueless and I'm not about to make a move and ruin our friendship. But it's problematic because I compare EVERY guy I meet to him. Still trying to figure out how to deal with this.

Carpe diem <3

<3
Sarah

Chapter 12: The Start of Something New

I always do this.

I make a commitment to write down my thoughts and I never manage to! I feel like such a failure, haha. Lets be honest, I do these for the most part to look back on and remind myself of the trials and other crazy things that I have been through.

Where did I leave off again?

Oh, yes. Another failed relationship. Why do I feel like that was so long ago? Oh wait, it was!! Since then, I made a pact to myself to stay away from dating. I wear a single's ring [Google it haha] and really avoid men in general. If you know me, you'd think this would be impossible... I used to chase after love like it was my job and try to make myself a lovable person. I realized that love will wait for me... I'm sure someday I'll meet my prince charming who will sweep me off my feet and surprise the hell out of me. Until then, I will not be so aggressive and upfront.. I will let love find me. :]

That being said... it doesn't mean I'm not crushing. But we'll leave it at that, haha. :]

What is more important than all of that relationship banter!? I MOVED TO CALIFORNIA. :] I literally just picked up my life and moved. My life being my new rhinstoned Taylor acoustic, my 3 suitcases packed with clothes, and my TV. Huge move. HUGE move. It's my first time living on my own and it's been quite exciting. :] I have a lot of friends in this area and I am so happy to be here. There was a bump in the road with my previous living arrangements because of irreconcilable differences so I ended up moving down to San Diego with one of my best friends Victoria. Couldn't have made a better decision! My mom was here to help me unpack and also didn't like where I was living so I'm glad I decided to move elsewhere. Only about 2 hours from LA, and let's face it that isn't that far! And I have a few friends there who I can stay with for auditions and such, yay! I've been contacting all of the producers and etc who were interested in me and trying to get stuff going. Sending out like a billion headshots to different agencies haha it's insane.

In a nutshell... boys = icky unless they're my prince charming, growing up, taking chances, moved across the country away from the Disney bubble, living my dreams :]

<3
Sarah