Chapter 4: Impacted

There's an hour left of Halloween and tonight. I quickly remembered, while handing out candy dressed as a mermaid, why it's my favorite holiday. The joy on everyone's faces seeing other costumes and the creativity of others around them and the smiles that grow wider every time a child sees another piece of candy awaiting them. What naivety; just a small item that can be devoured and gone in a flash brings such happiness to people. I closed my eyes tight for a second while feeling a chilly breeze go straight to my bones and remembered the complete bliss I once had. It brought a wide smile to my face... something I didn't expect. I spent the rest of the night listening to soft acoustic music without losing that smile. I even giggled out loud to myself from time to time. That's what I'm missing: bliss.

I was chatting over sushi today about the kind of man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I have been dating a lot lately and falling very easily for a few of the boys [not men in the least] that I've been seeing. But then, after just a few measly days, I am COMPLETELY over it and never want contact with said person again. What the hell!? I've always been like this. There have only been two male species in my life that I haven't gotten sick of after a week or so. One of them was an abusive asshole and one of them is too far away from here to give me the time of day anymore. I hate remembering how much they didn't annoy me. I always wanted to see them. And I realized that's what I need right now; I can't force a relationship, I have to NEED the person or feel as though I'm going to have a complete meltdown. I need a homebody... someone who doesn't want to go out all the time, who just wants to sit at home with me and watch TV or talk. That's the most comfortable for me. I need someone who needs me just as much as I need them... no more, no less. And I will wait as long as I have to to find this man... I promise this time.

<3
Sarah

Chapter 3: The Boy With Potential

Here I sit, eating sugar-free Jello like it's my job. And it kind of is. I'm trying so hard to lose weight, and denying french fries is so hard. I LOVE CARBS. But on weight watchers sugar-free Jello is a free food so I can eat it until I BARF! And Block Party gives me 2 activity points so I can eat 2 more points for the day! This is easy. I'm going to lose weight so fast!

Back to the point... I met a boy. No, no... stop your assumptions right there! Not one of THOSE... the ones who I only go on a date with for free food ['cause who's going to deny free food when you work for Disney?]. So, in a nutshell [seeing as I'm not planning on giving any juicy details on my blog, sorry folks], I had a beautiful, amazing, fabulous, and every other magical word you can think of night last night. I'm not used to people being able to keep up with me... like, how much I talk, the stupid awkward things I do... so this is refreshing. There is potential lying within this one. And I like it. I look forward to the next few months to see what they hold.

I got hair extensions. And now I look like Hannah Montana. But they're just human hair clip-ins so I can take them out whenever they start to bug me. I'm obsessed with them. I have an unhealthy obsession with long hair. This will be my 2nd set of extensions. I'M IN LOVE.

PIXIE HOLLOW OPENS ON FRIDAY. I can't freaking believe it. No, wait. Rewind. I can't FUCKING believe it. I've been waiting for a year to be in this room. I thought it was never going to happen... and here it is. I hope it's everything I've dreamed it would be! Oh, God. I am SO gay.


Days like today are the days I live for. Driving around on such a blustery day without a care in the world except for when I'm going to see said boy again. Days like this are how I define myself; enjoying the weather with my dearest friend Cait on a whim and making each moment last. I like to capture days like today mentally... like a picture I can go back to and remember the happiness, the light in my eyes. That's something I wish to have for the rest of forever... a light in my eyes to show the world how strong I am and how happy I am with the woman I've become... and the woman I will be eternally.


Ah.
Pure magic.

<3
Sarah

Chapter 2: Media and Infidelity

So, today as most of you know, I was called to do a filming for www.weather.com where they're going to be advertising Disney's new theme: What Will You Celebrate? There will be a section of the website where you can create your own virtual parade starring you! Along with you in the parade, you can add whatever Disney character you want! I did a green screen filming for the website and I felt SO cool!! All of these lights and cameras and filters and props... I felt like a celebrity. They just basically had me animate in front of the green screen as if I was in the parade waving to the guests. So, I would curtsey, blow kisses, spin around, be cute... haha. They did a close up shot of just my face as well. They wanted me to look lik eI was spinning around on a teacup so they took apart an office chair and I spun on it HAHA. I finally feel like casting recognizes my work and the passion I put into what I do. So, once the website is up, I'll post it here... and I encourage you to put the cutest girl in Wonderland into your parade!! ;p


I have always been the kind of girl to be completely blunt and honest in every situation. I don't like being hurt, so I figure no one else wants to hurt either. If I'm honest with those around me, I hope to get the same honesty back. Nope. Instead, things are just kept from me and I am lied to for months before having the truth revealed to me. I feel so betrayed... I can't even find the words for how I feel. My hands are shaking and my breath is shortened... and it's only because I've been lied to. That's all. The situation is out of my hands, and I would love to watch the people in it crumble and get hurt just like I did. From a certain person involved I expect this immature behavior. But to have a "friend" and a "big sister" keep these things from me is to turn around just before being stabbed in the back and be stabbed straight in the heart.

Trust no one but yourself... it's not worth the pain.

<3
Sarah

Chapter 1: The Follower

I've been jumping on a lot of bandwagons lately [to my dismay], so I figured I'd jump on this one as well. I'm the worst at keeping up with blogs, but I suppose I can put forth SOME kind of effort this time. Now we'll just have to see if I can come up with enough to talk about... enough to not piss people off, I should say. ;]

For now, I can leave you with this...

Pixie Hollow is opening on Friday and I couldn't be more excited. I've been waiting over a year for this now and I can't believe it's finally happening. What a dork I am... I've been reading all the Disney Fairies books and I'm so prepared that it's sickening. I'm also quite excited for a filming I've been asked to do... in Wonderland, of all places! It's for a new Disney website-thing where you can create your own parade with floats and characters and all sorts of good stuff. I can't wait.

Also, I decided yesterday that I'm going to go on a diet. Okay, okay... I say ALL THE TIME how I'm going on a diet and I never follow through. Well, I'm getting fat to put it simply. Not fat enough for anyone else to see, but it's getting on my nerves. So, I'm doing this for myself. Not anyone else. Just me, little Sarah.

Love life... oh goodness. What a roller coaster ride it has been! There's either 400 guys, or none. I can never settle. I suppose since I went through the worst few years of my 19 year old life in a terrible relationship I'm looking for all or nothing. I'm either looking for something ridiculously serious or nothing at all. At least I'm not settling. And what is with people at Disney doing ridiculously cunty things behind my back only to tell me the truth months later? What is with the dishonesty and disrespect of people at this place? I am so amused everyday to find out new, blackmail-worthy information that I can't wait to bring up in everyday chit chat. I digress... I'M just having fun and going with the flow. That's all I need to say about that. ;p

So, that's that. Stay if you will, the intensity will rise within the forthcoming weeks.

<3
Sarah

EDIT: The Studio DC Almost Live show on the Disney Channel cracks me up... there's an episode where Demi Lovato sings "This Is Me" with Beaker... and it makes me pee. YouTube it!