Chapter 8: Changed

I stumbled upon my blog after months of forgetting to write down my thoughts. I am so flustered with myself! I swore I was going to keep up with this but I didn't. I'll work harder, promise!

I read through the seven entries on my blog and was taken back to a time when nothing mattered... when I was in such a deep depression that I knew I would never surface. Let's just say that changed on a date I'll never forget... February 25th, 2009.

When you wake up from a nap groggy and confused, stupid decisions are often made. Going to an ex's house when you haven't talked in months and getting back together with them, jumping in the shower as if the next day is already here, going to DISNEY WORLD on your day off. I did the latter. In Fantasmic rehearsals to kick some ass on the top of the mountain, I woke up from a nap and asked my mother if she would accompany me to go see Fantasmic. She was confused as well, but I hopped up in my pajamas and my Dream Along With Mickey hoodie and flew into the car seeing as we left really late. Of course, we got there and there were absolutely NO seats. So upsetting! I, being optimistic, went to the very bottom of the venue and walked across the front trying to find a seat anywhere I could. Little did I know, an adorable Englishman had seen me from the moment I entered the 9,000 seat arena.

I finally spotted a seat! I rushed up the concrete stairs with my mom and eyed up the silver bench with just enough room for us.

"Would you like me to check if anyone is sitting there?"

... who said that? I thought to myself. Taking a second look, I noticed someone sitting in front of said seat that I was checking out and giving me a sly smile. I nodded and he replied that no one had claimed the bench. I was excited to sit down behind this cute man with an even CUTER accent. As I passed behind him, I put my hand on his shoulder and said "Thank you" (a detail I had forgotten). The moment I sat down, his friend Victoria was chatting me up. He then turned around and began chatting with my mom and I, commenting on her fantastic camera. He switched places with Victoria and we chatted some more. I learned about his dancing business in England, his piano playing, and how excited he was to be on his first trip to America. I, of course, told him I worked for the company and told him what I was learning in the show. Throughout Fantasmic, I was telling him bits and bobs about the show that only I would know. The fireworks at the end of the show were just the cherry on top of a chemistry filled 30 minutes. Such a short time to be so frazzled and nervous around someone. At the end of the show, I was crossing my fingers that he was going to ask for my number, or at least my name. As soon as the mysterious Englishman stood up, he asked if I had a Facebook. I quickly shouted "SARAH DANIELS" much to my embarassment. He smiled and told me his name... Daniel Murrell. A name I would not soon forget.

To make a long story short, we spent his second to last day in America at Disney's Hollywood Studios. It was one of the best days of my life. I didn't have to try to impress him or try to say the right things or try to look my best... it just fell into place. He dragged me onto Tower of Terror (I had avoided it since it was built) and I regret fully not purchasing the ridiculous picture that was taken during the ride. We returned to my house to have a chat with mom and to show him around Celebration (what a great place to show someone from another country). We talked nonstop and had the most beautiful evening chatting away with my parents and drinking wine. I knew I had an early rehearsal the next day, so we jumped into my car so I could drive him back to where he was staying. My heart broke as we had to say goodbye. He hadn't shown me one glimpse of affection all day so I was certain that there was nothing more than friendship here. Before I got back in my car, we hugged and he kissed me on the cheek then said something that stuck: "Please don't hurt me." I was confused for just a moment when I said "I don't plan on it." And then I knew. I had never been more certain of anything in my entire life. Just a day in the park with someone from another country that I would probably never see again. But that wasn't the case... I knew I would see him again. I teared up and jumped into my car. I left as quickly as I could. To my surprise, not even Taylor Swift could pull me through this wave of emotion. I drove home in silence.

I had absolutely no idea what had just happened, just that the butterflies flying around in my stomach had appeared out of nowhere. I had never felt this way about anyone or anything before. I thought I had years ago... but this was not even COMPARABLE to that. I felt respected, I felt beautiful, I felt dignified, I felt nervous, I felt prepared, I felt wanted, I felt better than I had ever felt. Finally I had something I deserved after so many years of despair. God sent me my miracle.

That was much more longwinded than I expected, but I figured I may as well get it all out before I ended up bursting and having to tell the story one more time. It has been nearly 4 months now since we have been officially together, and I'm already ready to spend the rest of my life right next to him. I spent 12 days in England in April and he recently was here to spend 2 weeks with me. Every moment has been perfection, and I'm cetain it will continue to grow into something even more beautiful than what has already blossomed.

How's that for an update?

*sings* If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it...

<3
Sarah